I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
