just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
