hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
