white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
