i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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