why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
