Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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