Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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