I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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