I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
