just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
