If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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