Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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