these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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