I wish I could teleport
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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