We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
