the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
