I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
