in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
