just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
