You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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