Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
