We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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