i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
