dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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