is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
