So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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