dude i'm inner monologue high
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
