You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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