is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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