If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize