She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
