God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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