I am puke
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
