hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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