If i come over, it means nothing
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
