You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
