Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
