dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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