Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
