we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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