Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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