This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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