We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
