Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
