He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
