he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
