My girlfriend figured out who you are.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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