We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
