I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Walk of Shame today included voting.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
