just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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